In front of me, I had a small hallway where I could walk through every day and the same repetitive thoughts went on & on during each & every single stroll…
It was a personal hell that I condemned myself to after I had made an honest mistake that I worked on so hard to repair. But I never had a chance. In your eyes I was a villain, a black demon who broke your heart, I was never good enough for you.
You never saw how broken I was and how I really needed you, you quickly vanquished me out of your world for good and called it an “act of love”.
Now, after 6 months, you know what?
I have grown so much in this walk through the storm and I came out as a higher version of myself.
I opened the door and let myself out of my own prison and felt like I could breathe for the very first time. You no longer have control over me, I do not have to prove anything to anyone. I am no longer a villain nor a victim because I came across so many levels of my soul, I spoke with different shadow selves, I forgave my alter-egos and now I can taste the freedom like never before.
Since you decided that I was not good enough, I’ve spent every day working on myself. There were great days, there were horrible days BUT I kept going and I kept digging deeper within my soul, looking for answers and looking for the right questions to be asked.
I have come to know myself like never before. This person who always was me but I never gave her the slightest chance. The person I punished so hard when she was not perfect and tortured for some kind of imaginary ideals. The person I never showed true love to, the person who suffered in silence and asked for a bit of attention and a lot of affection that I never realized she needed. So she kept looking for men who would love her, who would cherish her and protect her… never realizing that all she needed was me.
I was the one she kept searching for, my approval, my affection, my protection.
I gave up the leading role in my own life and kept looking for a hero to save me, never realizing that I was the hero of my story all along. And if it was necessary to walk through the fire and hell-mouth of all this enormous pain after the breakup, with whom I thought was, the love of my life, I am happy to have gone through this experience.
In the storm, I have found myself – the strength and the wisdom and above all, unconditional love for myself… love for my inner child and the self-esteem I have been searching my whole life for. I embraced my vulnerability and opened my heart so that the light I carry inside can finally shine in all the beautiful colors on everyone.
I am grateful for this path and in the end, I am grateful for you as well, because you were my teacher and in a way, your act was indeed, an act of love in disguise which pushed me onto a journey to self-discovery. If you believe in reincarnation, then it is obvious that we must have loved each other so profoundly to accept such a painful experience.
I feel so free now, like a whole new world appeared in front of my eyes and I am the lead role, the heroine and I can do anything now.
Happiness is a small word for the feeling I now have in my stomach. It is a new birth, a new life. Like I just came back from another Universe and got a chance to taste this amazing one all over again.
Thank you, M.
Thank you for being brave enough to face your fears and keep digging deep inside your soul to find the real meaning of life – which is to live fully and freely, always exploring this magnificent journey with love in your heart and an open mind – free of all judgments and peace in your soul.
I love you, M. I never knew that I could love this much!
A 30-day Eating Guide to Your Best Body Ever!
Discover the best-kept secret in the food marketing industry and uncover the strategies that will effortlessly shed pounds off your body. The Body Fuel System comes with a 30-day customized weekly eating plan, a weekly shopping guide, a weekly food-prep guide, healthy fitness recipes, Betty Rocker’s top 5 ab-shredding moves, additional tips & tricks to keep you lean and much more. Click HERE for more details.