Your first real, serious relationship will put you on cloud nine. You invest all you have toward your significant other and it’s quite a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, when the feelings begin to wane the inevitable breakup is bound to happen.
After four years of commitment I found myself in this situation.
I was dumbstruck. I would have never expected it to end the way it did but in retrospect I should have seen it coming; regardless of the hindsight I can say that I knew it was time to make a major life change because:
- My attitude had shifted and I was no longer that interesting person as to when we met
- I began to let myself go and, in consequence, I packed on the pounds
- Deep down I had been battling depression which swelled to a peak at the time of the split
I was completely lost for months after the event. I sunk down and looked toward alcohol for comfort before finally having the courage to get on anti-depressants and making better lifestyle changes.
Do you know what I realized months after things began to get better?
My friends, family, and anonymous individuals in support groups, which had gone through similar issues, were absolutely right on how to get over the jarring cut-off.
There were three pivotal points that I accepted from these people that mattered for moving on:
- Letting go
All three of them, coincidentally, has led me to be a healthy individual in both body and mind.
It’s hard to summarize everything that happened to aid with the recovery process but I’d like to share the major points that helped me the most (along with suggestions if you’re going through something in the same):
- What you go through during the grieving process is experienced by everyone that has gone through this troubling time. The grieving process is broken down into different stages and once you are able to accept that you are going through the process you will begin to notice the positive changes as things get better. Over time your mood improves and all those little things you’ve been putting off become something worth doing again (such as keeping your body healthy). In a lot of ways it’s like understanding the plot to a movie so you can prepare yourself the best you can to tackle those different phases of the grieving process. You are able to let go and take in the experience rather than holding back.
- The second is to get off your butt and get out there. Exercise is known to help with depression during these tough times. Not only are you working toward a personal goal but the end result is feeling healthier, looking better, and gaining confidence. All three of these benefits will help you get out of the slump in both body and mind. You may not be an “exercise-type person” and you don’t need to be; you just need to get active so you’re not sitting at home, dwelling on the past, and letting it eat at you.
- The third, which I can’t stress enough, is to seek professional help through a depression psychologist. Depression is a creeping shadow that will always loom over your body and mind. Even if you’re feeling fantastic from being healthy and confident it can still rear its ugly head. With a professional you will understand the type of depression you may be experiencing and with their help quell those down moments so you can continue on with your life and see those bad moments as just things of the past.
Where am I now?
Months after the terrible break up I am well upon my way to a new, exciting lifestyle. I committed myself to let go of the past and work toward my future. I set a routine so each day I would eat healthy and exercise (usually riding my bike) which has contributed to losing over thirty pounds and a major boost in confidence. Mixed with the proper therapy to understand myself I feel like an entirely changed individual that can conquer the World.
So here are my final thoughts: Start where you can, on your own, by focusing on your mental well-being. Once you’ve overcome those issues (even just enough to move forward) you should commit to physical health by getting active, looking great, and meeting new people. Finally, don’t put off professional help even if you feel a-okay because there may still be a deeper issue that needs help.
How have you overcome major issues in your life through new lifestyle choices?
image source: Unplash
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