Welcome back to #SoulCandySunday my dear passion-fueled adventurers! A monthly feature, bringing you valuable, inspirational & most importantly, feasible tools allowing you to step into your full power & realign with your true essence and core desires. The secret sauce to attracting what your heart truly craves & manifesting abundance & genuine joy into your life.
I have a question for you.
Are your goals draining you, making you feel frustrated and plain old CRAPPY?
Are you stuck in a cycle where you keep “failing” yourself, where you take one step forward and then 10 steps backwards engaging in the same old “destructive patterns”?
What if you used these negative feelings and emotions as a SIGNAL, helping you carve a pleasurable path aligned with your true desires and longings, instead of resisting and pushing harder towards a direction that perhaps isn’t working for you?
Here’s the thing, this life is yours for the making.
Yes, we all have responsibilities we cannot ignore – but the one responsibility we owe ourselves most is to DESIGN A LIFE THAT LIGHTS US UP!
Some things, perhaps we cannot escape, while most aspects of our lives are free for us to explore & play with. There is indeed a substantial nuance between living life recklessly, reacting to events carelessly in order to feel “happy” and showing up as you true self, unapologetically while maintaining your sense of self-liability.
You can be playful, gutsy, and a dash crazy and still be a “successful”, “responsible”, and “mature” grownup. Finding this balance is key to living an extraordinary life as you welcome your inner child to blossom & be fully expressed while you develop the necessary skills of “having your own back” & being able to count on YOURSELF. AMEN.
As the Angry Therapist puts it:
The ability to analyze, project, and budget a checkbook, but driven by their wild imagination and a desire to enter through different doors. They dream during the day and plan at night. They’re punctual and pay bills on time. They are “crazy”, a bit off center, and see the world and what’s possible through an entirely different lens. They jump but with parachutes. They think about the future but live in the here and now.
Keep leaning forward,
– Angry
Here’s how to find this balance in the REAL WORLD!
…have a seat, it’s time for a solo Q&A party!
First off, get out of your head – then you may become methodological.
Q: Ask yourself, what really brings me JOY?
Before we get into it, let’s get clear on what I mean by “JOY” exactly… I am not referring to the instant gratification, a “quick-fix”, or some sort of “fill-up the void” type of pleasure that brings on superficial and momentary satisfaction. The kind of pleasure we seek to numb ourselves or to avoid feeling pain all together. Instead, think of what truly lights you up. Think BIG, allow yourself to daydream. What do you truly crave. Get playful.
How can you introduce more of that which lights you up into your life TODAY vs. when you reach x, y, z goals?
Too often, we put our soul’s cravings on the backburner, thinking that we will have time to enjoy life fully once we attain some sort of “status”, “position” or “identity”. Screw that old-school mentality! The thing is, these basic human needs (and yes, JOY is a powerful indicator of our needs) that we keep ignoring are actually essential to propel us forward, vividly & genuinely, in a rich & rewarding life! Strip them away for too long, and you are sure to unwillingly develop patterns, even addictions that are counterproductive to your growth and wellbeing!
You don’t need to take extreme measures to start enjoying life today. The smallest gestures of self-compassion can awaken the dormant soulful explorer within!
Redecorate your living or working space in a way that really inspires your uniqueness. Put on some smoking hot plum lipstick and take those extra 10 minutes to dress up in a way that feels GOOD and reviving before leaving home. Make yourself a new soothing yet impelling music playlist for your commute to work. Get in touch with someone who’s lifestyle truly moves you – most likely, they will be flattered & touched by your reach-out. Get crafty, make stuff, invent shit, DARE, allow things to get messy & playful…
You don’t need a fortune or an excessive amount of time to do so. True wealth is defined by the quality of your day-to-day life. The simple things which bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart, as insignificant as they may appear from the outside, have drastic effects! And to top it off, when you are aligned to what you desire (in the way you think, feel and act), you attract even a larger dose of it effortlessly! Jackpot!!!
As we tune in, ALLOW ourselves to be playful & true to ourselves – then, only then, can we become methodological grown-ups!
Q: Is what you do for a living aligned with your essence desires or supporting you while building a life that lights you up?
Hustle hard, sacrifice a lot, push push push harder and you will reach your GOALS (or a burnout)! The formula to wealth & happiness? Think again! Taking into consideration that sadly, a large part of the population set goals based on fear & lack – I would rather say that this is the perfect blueprint to self-sabotage & soul-crushing! Sounds rough? I respect hard work, don’t get me wrong. BUT, we need a balance of purpose, passion and self-discipline to acquire EPIC results!
The RIGHT kind of discipline to muster.
We owe it to ourselves to become the nifty trailblazers of our own destiny. Each one of us is unique, and in today’s era, emulating an outdated formula to success simply isn’t working anymore. There are so many tools out there to help you lean into your full authentic power!
Here are some of my favorite tools and coaching programs:
YOU truly do deserve it ALL, and now is the time to take your dreams seriously. You with me?
This is the part where you GIVE YOURSELF some BIG, HARD LOVE! This is the part where you make a plan, where you become analytical, brainy & “responsible” – this is what you owe yourself. By doing so, this is the example you set out to your loved ones and those around you. “YES, my dreams are worth all the time, discipline & underlying attention they can get”! From there, we can redefine the success paradigm, where hard work & hustle is also correlated to play hard & flourish inside-out!
Ps. there is no such thing as a “too big of a dream”!
Q: Are you COMMITTED?
Focus – ReCharge – Prioritize
The people I admire most & whom actually walk their talk when it comes to creating a life on their own terms ARE fully committed to making it a reality. As I’m sure you’ve experienced, changing your ways requires some serious “neuro-muscle lifting” at times and it’s easy to fall back into old patterns if we are not committed, especially during critical & challenging times. While realigning with your true purpose & intentions isn’t all push & shove, it is a necessity to develop steady rituals to stay tuned-in, lined-up & lite-up to what you want to invite and manifest into your life. At first it may require a lot of readjusting until our new ways have become second nature. Be patient.
FOCUS on your WHY – hint, you’re WHY is fully charged by strong emotions of LOVE. Remember that “AHA!” moment that got you started in the first place? Put it on replay. Better yet, loop it, make a song out of it, stay turned ON!
RECHARGE as often as needed – throughout the day, we go through different motions, interact with various vibes & people & feeling. It’s important to practice the act of being a creator vs. the observer that reacts to any given situation. Charge up with things, people, situations that reinforce your WHY as often as needed.
PRIORITIZE – we learn through constant repetition. It’s not enough to simply “know” what is good for us, we need to continually reinforce it (hence, the looping your “why” above). Make your new habit non-negotiable. Every day, multiple times a day if needed, get clear about your needs and desires. Remind yourself kindly.
Bottom line, you’re either lined up with your purpose or not. YOU CAN DO THIS – REALLIGN, REALIGN, REALIGN – embrace the sacred RITUALS, show up for your DREAMS, insist on your “ME-TIME”!
… and finally, please don’t take it all too seriously – leave room for messiness. It’s not that serious muchacha, take a chill pill (I mean get your OMMM on)!
Don’t get too caught up in figuring it all out and being so hard on yourself. It’s ok to get angry, down or confused, but then realize the root cause of that emotion, more often than not, painful emotions are a signal from your wounded-self screaming for attention and remind you to re-align with your true self. TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN.
Know when to let GO – there is always a way, as Marie Forleo repeats… everything is “figureoutable”! You’re damn right it is sista!
photo credits to the Unplash crew
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